chance

i can relate all my posts here to you. and this place just tells myself how i feel about where we are at the moment, even though, these posts were not written for you, they are certainly suitable to share with you.

i met you by chance. (wouldnt have met if i attended an earlier induction or if i choose to attend a later one)
i kept in contact with you by initiative (i added you on fb, and i initiated msging you after 3yrs of 0 communication)
you were still attached and i did not hope for anything when we got back in touch.
i never thought of getting together as i think you were too good to be true and i was not seeking for a relationship
yet, by chance, we went out a few times (i think 3 times at most?), things sparkled.

we got together, for some reason (though i think back now perhaps it was not the most appropriate)
we knew you were going away for sometime, and we decide to let it flow and see how it turns out.

we had good times. we had bad times as well. tempers flared, unfortunately. i am short tempered, irked at every slightest thing you do.
you were patient when i acted up. thank you now for that.
i used to remember i was calm and use to be the more reasonable one to calm things down. not so anymore.

if i point out one of my favourite time with you was probably be when you laugh. i like it when you laugh like a mad man. playing puzzles (both in kl and sydney). i think these are the quality times i miss the most.

my most memorable time with you, probably be... our trip to SG.

what i miss most about you is your "mao". :(

somehow, along the way, temper raised and grew. i was becoming something that i shouldnt and now, because of my push, and my reluctance to let you go, i have lost you.

maybe, someday. things will be better.
maybe.



you are really one of a kind.
:)

catherine

there's no other place i want to be but here
the rain falls, the sun is hiding
i've lost my sight in the midst of the storm
troubled,
out of nowhere, you shine like a star,
your light leads me home, to you
never did the gloomy day feel so right, so good

----------------------------------------------

made my mistakes

i cant turn back time

only hope that with time

i can amend myself

tried to learn from the wrongs

but end up in the same place again

will i ever be him?


drafted on 30 sept 2006

Decisions left me Stranded

I have decided to stop posting in my other blog for the time being. Reason? I realised how it felt that you dont have the purpose of blogging now. I can see why Catherine kept changing her blog.

Should I pursue this socalled love? I hope that the future will be brighter than how it is looking to be now.

Listening to In My Life by the Beatles

drafted on 14 Oct 2006

I Want To Know

I want to know whats on your mind,
I want to know what you are thinking when you are talking to me,
I want to know why are you acting the way you do,

I want to know what you are feeling about us,
I want to know whether is this all true, or its just something I hallucinate,
I want to know what you really feeling inside

I want to know how to love you,
I want to know that you will want me back,
I want to know that we still have a chance,

I want to know that its not too late,
I want to know that there is another try,
I want to know that this is not the end,

I want to know that you are the one
I want to know that I know what it feels like to be in love,
I want to know how it really feels like when I hurt you so bad baby,

I want to believe
I want to achieve what I deny before
I want to see that there is another chance, another day
To make amends for my sins and wrondoings

I want to let you know that I do care, cherish and love you

I want to let you know that you are always on my mind
I want to let you know that you are the most beautiful girl in my heart and eyes

drafted on 15 Jan 2008

Reason

I leave this blog open here for you to find and read. :)

I like you to come into here and read the things I wrote.

My intentions are for you to read it; and I am waiting for that day.

I know it won't be soon because the only time you'll find out is when you read my blogger profile, which I doubt anyone would at this stage where we already know each other so much that the profile doesnt mean anything. Who would think about updating the profile?

I wonder too if Nancy comes here and read. She never talks about it since the first time I told her.

I don't believe in telling ppl that you have another blog but ask them don't bother to look for it (Sorry Lydia). I mean if u really don't want people to find it, don't bother telling us u did another blog and we won't even think abt looking for it. (Seriously, I did try to Google for yours as well :P). I like the idea of keeping this here till everyone comes and goes like 'hey you have another blog'... but I think I am looking for something more, from someone, maybe. I don't know.

Your the reason, everything began and ended